Home

I made it to my parents house yesterday. I was cautious trying to see them without actually coming into contact with them. But I couldn't see anything from where I was. So I panicked. I quickly ran to the front door. *face palm* I know bad idea.

I opened the door slowly and walked in. I heard someone coming down the stairs. I reached for my dagger and was horrified when I realized I didn't have it with me. A sigh of relief escaped my mouth when I noticed it was mom. She seemed excited when she saw me and walked up giving me a hug. It really was good to see her.

"Roy! It's been too long." She exclaimed squeezing me tighter.

Her words were true. "I know I've missed you guys." My words were true I really had. It was good to see someone close to me who wasn't effected by this mess.

Her face suddenly turned angry. "You couldn't have at least called? We haven't heard from you in 3 years!" But her eyes softened after saying this. "Oh it doesn't matter at least the family's back together again."

I paused at this. Could it be true then? No there was no way. "What?" I asked stupidly.

"Yea Nick arrived yesterday. He's upstairs playing chess with your father." She replied happily.

My blood ran cold. So he was alive. I walked past mom slowly ascending the stairs. I felt vulnerable without a weapon but I didn't think Nick would try anything while he was here. When I got upstairs I walked to my parents room and opened the door. There he was good as new, other than a angry crimson colored scar on his throat, there he was playing chess as though nothing was wrong. He looked at me a pleasant smile coming to his face as he took out dad's bishop with a knight casually before turning to me, his smile broadening. I could tell it was fake though.

He stood up suddenly. Looking at dad. "Hey, pop. I think I'm going to go out for a stroll with Roy."

"Yea alright." Dad responded absentmindedly, still observing the board with a look of intense concentration. He didn't even acknowledge my presence. He always get like this when he plays chess.

We walked outside and when I turned to Nick, he was no longer smiling at least not the fake one from before. He was giving me a devious smirk with a cruel glint in his eyes.

"Let's have a chat shall we?" After he had said this Slendy suddenly appeared. He grabbed us both before a feeling of almost spinning through a whirlwind came, after I found myself on the path. Slendy had vanished.

"The path is beautiful isn't it?" He asked casually, as if this was perfectly fine.

"Nick what the hell is going on?! How are you alive and why are you being such a douche?!" I asked this angrily. His expression tightened as he glanced at me with a bleak expression.

"Because you got me killed. You know how much it hurts to die?! How much it hurts to know that your best friend could've saved you, but didn't?!"

"I did what I could and nothing less! Do you really think that if I could've saved you I wouldn't have?" my voice started to crack and soften as he got louder and angrier.

"You picked some dumb bitch you met 3 days before over your own brother!"

"I didn't pick her! Izzy chose to kill you first!"

"No it was your choice, and you chose that girl. And we both know how that turned out!"

That one stung. He was rubbing salt in wounds that hadn't fully healed. His face changed to one of a calm expression.

"It doesn't matter Roy it was your fault I died. I want you gone as soon as we're back. I'm letting you leave now but know this. Next time we meet I will kill you." Suddenly we were back in front of the house. I gave the house one look and left. I couldn't risk it I had no weapons on me at the time.

So I'm back at the hotel and I'm not to sure what to do now. I just need to get away for awhile.

What to do?

At another motel, had to take a rest. Can't sleep. It seems Darkness wants me dead she had two shadows following me. I noticed them While I was in a cafe just sipping some coffee. I noticed that there were a couple of shadows that seemed off. I walked down the street after I left the cafe and knew they were still following me. I walked into an alleyway and they rose from there shadows attacking me. I was ready though I quickly disarmed both and snapped one of their necks. The other one I slit his throat with his own blade. 

Usually I wouldn't take to killing so easily. But as of late I've already been in a bad mood. So Darkness if you can somehow read this know that if you send anymore of your lackeys after me they will suffer the same fate as these two.

I'll be hitting the road soon I'm almost to my parents house.

Nick

The blood sprayed from his throat. He had such a look of fear in his eyes as the life drained from his face. This memory is still quite fresh in my mind. I've tried to forget. I really have. He was my brother in everything but blood. I miss him. I miss my brother.

If you saw the comments last chapter you know that there was some bastard posing as Nick. It made me angry and it brought his death to the forefront of my mind. It also made me realize 2 things.

I left Nick's body back at my old house. He deserves a proper burial. I also realized that our parents don't even know that Nick is dead.

Against Strider's wishes I'm leaving the bunker to go retrieve his body. With darkness' shadows after me this isn't going to be a safe trip and I may not be coming back from it. I've packed my bag full of food and weapons. I know Strider would try to stop me so it's good he's away at the path. Aveline already tried to stop me. I had to knock her unconscious.

Sorry Strider this is a trip I have to take alone. I'll return in a week or so. If I'm not dead.

I'll post when I can.

So Nikolai came back with Strider today. We were lucky that he was tired and he let us take his weapons. He won't take his pills and he keeps screaming something about 'TRAINING IN THE RAIN'. I haven't slept in days with looking after the injured and now I don't feel safe sleeping with crazy Strider running around the place.

I would force him but I still feel that punch he gave me and the idea of what Strider off his meds would do kind of scares me. Me and Nikolai finally convinced Aveline that we would handle it and that she could rest. So shes sleeping in the next room right now.

As if Strider wasn't enough we've been having a lot of sightings of Smiley on the camera feed. I also had my first encounter with Darkness. I'd been sitting outside the bunker looking at the stars.

I knew someone was near by.

"Who are you and tell me why I shouldn't kill you right now" I had been getting edgy from the sleep deprivation.

"Now is that anyway to greet a guest?" When she stepped out of the shadows. Though I had never met her I knew from Spyre's different accounts that this was Darkness.

Instantly I was on guard slowly reaching for the dagger I had taken to keeping on my belt. My hand rested on the hilt. "Why are you here?" I asked in what I hoped was a threatening tone.

She chuckled. "Oh please you don't expect to hurt me with that little toy, do you?" She was taunting me. After what she had done to Spyre seeing her here mocking smirk on her face, it made my blood boil.

"I don't like repeating myself. Why are you here?" I asked her again.

"Just to have a little chat." She explained in a matter of fact tone.

"Really now? Somehow I doubt you came here just to talk to me." I was trying to stay calm. I didn't want to do anything rash.

"I'm not here to speak with you. I'm here for Strider. He and me have something to settle." Anger flickered in her eyes if only for a second.

"Your not entering here." I went to draw my dagger. She appeared suddenly in front of me hand on my wrist. Her touch was cold. It was painful. Her grip was strong and I was tired. When a voice spoke up.

"Let go....now darkness!" I looked over and saw Sagari. I was surprised she was here. It seemed darkness was to because her grip loosened enough for me to rip my hand away. She glared at Sagari for a moment before disappearing.

Sagari sighed " I can't be saving you all the time Roy."

"So why are you here Sagari?" Her face turned serious.

"I don't really know what but Smileys planning something. Something big and it has something to do with you."

Me and Sagari talked for another hour or so before she had to travel back to Sanctuary.

Strider just started yelling something....that is it! I'm tired of not sleeping. I'm going to go shove those pills down his throat.

I'll post again when I get some rest.

More good news and more bad news.

Good news: we found Aveline and the others who went after Strider.

Bad news: they were heavily injured and Strider is still no where to be found. Oh and there's the fact that there was no one else we found alive. The battlefield is littered with bodies. It's.....it's sickening.

I was easily able to bandage them up. I was studying to be a doctor before all of this after all. I just got done stitching up Aveline and I'm quite tired.

To my annoyance Nikolai made me wait here with the injured while he went looking for Strider. Now I'm just waiting here for hopefully both of them to get back. Ill post again if anything happens.

Damn it Strider where are you?

Well Crap

I don't really know what just happened....

I was just laying down resting, Aveline's orders, when the alarm went off an all I could here was the constant beep and screaming. It's been kind of tense here at the bunker lately because of this proxy army threat combined with the fact that Strider ran out of his meds recently.

I got up cringing I still wasn't even near 100% so I really hoped that no one had found there way into the bunker because while I could handle a normal proxy, I would be next to useless against anything more powerful than that.

I made my way to the command center only to see that Nikolai was the only one there. I looked to the camera feeds to see that Strider had rushed on to the battlefield in his unmedicated state. I quickly yelled to Nikolai that I was going after him.

Nikolai stopped me by telling me that the only thing I could do in my injured state was get killed. He told me that Aveline and the others had already went after him so there was no need to worry. Didn't help me from worrying though.

All of the sudden I saw slendy appear on the camera feed before all of the camera feeds were filled with static. A few minutes the static went away and we saw that it looked as though everyone was dead.

Nikolai told me to gather what weapons I had and he would come get me when he was done gathering some supplies.

I already gathered my silver dagger and a few throwing knives so I'm just waiting for Nikolai while I type this.

We're going out to the battlefield and I'm slightly afraid of what we'll find. Oh looks like Nikolai is ready so ill post as soon as I can. Hopefully with good news.

Back from the dead

Yea so Dying? Really....I mean REALLY sucks. Hurts like a bitch too. I don't recommend it to any of you.

Oh? Surprised? So am I. I shouldn't be alive right now. Oh yea so good news I'm alive. Bad news Izzy is too. More bad news.....Sagari informed me that the only way out of sanctuary was to make a mad dash through one of the domains. One of the Fear's domains.

That's not how I died though.

I died during Sagari's final "test".

I woke up yesterday morning to the smell of smoke. I panicked quickly flipping to my feet. Twin daggers already in hand. I ran out the door. What I saw made me freeze in horror. Sanctuary, the trees, the plants, all once so beautiful.....now on fire turning to ashes before my eyes.

From within the fire I saw Izzy walking towards me sporting a mad grin. She ran towards me with a straight sword in hand. We locked blades and with no words began a deadly dance. Exchanging blades for what felt like hours. I had many chances to end the fight that I didn't take hesitating to end her. Each time cost me. Where I hesitated Izzy did not leaving gash after gash on my body. I didn't feel the pain because of all the adrenaline shooting through my body. Until finally I ended it. I parried one of her attacks and everything seemed to slow down. I quickly spun around cleaving straight through her neck. Her head fell to the ground. The adrenaline left my body as the blood loss began to take effect and I fell to my knees. Shortly after I wrote the post and I shut my eyes death taking me.

I woke up this morning good as knew and confused as hell. Sagari chuckled at my look of confusion before explaining that it had been a test. She needed make sure I could kill when I needed to. She also explained that she could manipulate sanctuary to look as she wanted. It's also apparently impossible for me to permanently die while in sanctuary. Strange.

I packed up to leave through the path. But before I could Sagari gave me 2 gifts. One a dagger made of pure silver and the other the power to cleanse people of a fears influence and mark.

"I must warn you though" she told me. "If yours and the victims will cant over power the fears will it will transfer its will upon you making you it's new servant."

She told me that I wouldn't be able to get back unless sanctuary called me back. So after thanking her for all the help I was off.

That's when things went bad. I don't truly know what happened. One minute I'm sprinting through path the next moment I wake up with a hooded girl standing over me. I soon learned this was Aveline and that Strider had picked me up on the path and brought me back to his bunker. I learned that after I went on a panicked frenzy and attacked Aveline. Which I still feel guilty about.......here Strider gives a more detailed explanation then me.

http://darknessonlyconfirmswhatwecannotsee.blogspot.com/2013/04/well-roy-is-up-and-with-us-now-but-it.html?m=1

Damn seekers with there unnatural strength.

I have to get off Aveline is giving me a strict look because I'm supposed to be resting.

is this it then? I'm bleeding rather heavily. I killed Izzy

I guess this is goodbye then.... to all of those who helped me, thank you.

I should have listened to you wolf...been more careful and wolf I know this will sound strange but you were my closest friend.....my only friend hehe. you were definitely rather helpful during my rather short journey. So to you especially thank you.

my vision is getting blurry....its getting hard to focus...i dont want to die yet

hehe im dying and the first thing i run to is my blog im such an idiot

goodbye

Doubtful

I may have been a little hasty in stating that this Sagari was a hope. Some of you expressed concerns that I seemed so trusting of her. I guess after all that has happened I just want something like her to...to give me hope. heh irony

I've had some of the same doubts as you guys. Well I'm leaving after tomorrow. I have to get rest because Sagari said she had some final test for me tomorrow. I didn't like the glint in her eye.

Making It Official

I don't know if any of you payed attention to the comments on the last post but Med and Rose decided what this entity Sagari should be called. So might as well make it official.

Sagari is not a fear and she isn't human so I needed a name for her kind. Since the monsters we fight are known as fears, I shall now refer to Sagari as a Hope. Specifically a hope of Sanctuary.

Also I've been gaining some kick ass powers. I can't way to try them on the next enemy I come by. Oh you wanna know what they are? Well too bad. I've realized that I have to start being more subtle about my abilities.

So yeah sorry for the short post but that's all I have to say for now.

Sanctuary

I woke up in a small cottage. I cringed in pain as I sat up but I noticed that my wounds had been bandaged. I stumbled slowly to the door and was nearly blinded by daylight as I opened it. What I saw was truly breathtaking. If I was asked to describe the garden of Eden this would be it. There were beautiful trees all around and a large waterfall that turned into a small stream. What was slightly eerie though was the lack of animals. No birds or anything.

girl:"You really shouldn't be moving around your not fully healed."

I heard this from behind me and nearly jumped. When I turned around I saw a girl that looked around my age with light green hair that fell past her shoulders.

R: who are you and where the Hell am I?!

as you can imagine I wasn't in the best of moods. Betrayal seems to be quite the downer.

S: This place is known as Sanctuary and I am Sanctuary.

At my look of confusion she continued.

S: sanctuary is not a part of your dimension. It is its own dimension. It is my domain.

R; what do I call you then?

S: you may call me Sagari.

(Which she later informed me means sanctuary)

R: okay Sagari how did I get here?

S: I brought you here.

R: not that I'm not thankful you saved me but why?

S: because I see your potential and I couldn't simply let you die. I've brought you here to talk to you about a proposition.

R: a proposition?

S: yes I would like to train you. To be to me as the proxies are to what you call slenderman.

R: so basically your servant...

S: not exactly I will not take your will or make you do anything you don't want to. But I can grant you powers like the other fears do their servants.

R: is that what you are then? A fear? If that's the case I want nothing to do with you.

S: I am not one of those monsters you call a fear. I simply am an entity that wants this war to end.

R: why?

S: I have my reasons. These reasons are not important to you. Just know that I want these fears gone. If you accept I can give you strength. Strength that would rival that of Revenants.

R: you said powers. Powers like what?

S: for example I could give you the power to free people of HIS influence. I also noticed that he had marked you I could also take care of that for you.

R: I thought it was impossible to free people of HIS influence.

S: well this power is limited. It won't be possible for everyone. Some are simply too far gone.

R: why me though? Why bring me out of everyone else?

S: I only bring those here who have the potential to end this.

R: so I will end this?

S: I did not say that. I said you had the potential not that you would. You may very well have a awful bloody end. But I can guarantee that with the strength I give you you have a much better chance of avoiding such an end.

R: but there are much better choices for this. Why not echo, or Raggedy? There much more qualified for this.

S: your stronger than you give yourself credit for Roy. They have chosen their own path. This path is open to you Roy. But will you take it?

I took about an hour to truly just sit down and think. The power to free proxies? Though quite limited would be very helpful. I went back to her and told her I accepted. She walked forward and touched my forehead. My mind went blank for a few seconds before HIS song went quiet. She said to get rested that training would start tomorrow and that I would have to be rested.

That night I got the first true full nights sleep that I had had In a long time. When I awoke I felt truly rested. I walked outside only for a wooden sword to be thrown at me. I looked up to see Sagari with a sword. With a simple get ready she gave me one of the most brutal beatings of my life. We've trained a different weapon every day, we even went hand to hand one day. Everyday she has beaten me but I can feel myself getting stronger. I still have another week or so in sanctuary but then I leave and possibly join up with Strider.

Well she's calling for me to come outside. Well here we go again.

Tired

When I heard her scream I ran to her and flung the door open. She was gone and her place was a bouquet. A bouquet of black roses. Death....

After I typed up the post a couple of nights ago I ran off the next morning. I felt anger and HIS song grew louder. But I didn't try to calm down......I didn't want to calm down. We had explored the city the day before and there was only one place that Smiley could of took her. There was an old paper mill here in the town, it had been abandoned for years now. It was within running distance of where we had been staying.

I knew Slendy was following me. I assumed my rage had drawn him to me. But I didn't care at the moment. With any luck I could draw him into a fight with Smiley like last time.

I arrived at the paper mill and without a second thought quickly entered. Smiley was no where in sight and in the state I was in I didn't stop to question that at all. That's when I saw her tied to a chair. I breathed a sigh of relief. She was awake and she looked terrified. I quickly cut the ropes with the dagger I had grabbed. Grabbing her hand I assured Laura that everything would be okay. Right before she took a steel pipe to the back of my head.

When I woke up I was tied to a chair with Laura sitting in one in front of me. She greeted me with a happy "good morning sunshine". She saw that I was terribly confused. She then went about explaining everything. How she had been lying from the start, how she was a servant of the Smiling Man. Smiley wanted me for himself for what reason I'm not sure. She was all I had left in the world.... to know she was never my friend, that she had been lying the whole time, that now I had no one. I wasn't even mad. I just felt dead inside. I let the song take control. Laura was still rambling with her back turned to me. that was a mistake she would pay for dearly. I easily broke my bindings but she didn't seem to notice. I stood up put my hands on both hands sides of her neck and she only had time to let out a surprised gasp before.......Snap! I broke her neck in one swift move. Her lifeless body fell to the ground. When I noticed petals in the air.

One of the petals touched my shoulder and a gash appeared. I didn't feel it though.....I didn't really feel anything at the moment. I saw the smiling man in the corner. Picking up the steel pipe from earlier I slowly walked towards him. His petals were tearing my body to pieces but I didn't care. When I got close enough I swung and smashed his head open. I spent the what felt like hours swinging this pipe at Smileys now bloodied corpse. I dropped the pipe as Slender's song got softer. I suddenly felt extreme pain and fell to my knees. I knew I had lost alot of blood because my vision was getting blurry. But before I passed out I saw that a door had appeared, and it seemed to be calling to me. With the last of my strength I crawled to the door and opened it before passing out.

There's more to this and Ill put it in the next post. I'm just so....tired.

NO NO NONONONONONONO SHE CAN'T BE GONE

DAMN IT SMILEY YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS

I WILL FIND YOU AND RIP YOU TO PIECES

Family cont.

I've calmed down. His song is not as loud. Okay....c'mon Roy your in control. Okay where was I? Ah yes......

I had two brothers one was just 3 years older then me, the other was 13 years older than me. The younger was Jacob, the older was Seth. After what happened to our parents Seth became out provider. He was barely home because he had to work two jobs. But when he was he would school is saying "I won't have you grow up as dumb-asses pardon my French, just because we were scarred for life." He was a great brother. Always tried to make light of the situation.

Jacob was never the same after what happened. He rarely ever smiled again. But it was understandable. Me on the other hand I simply formed a mask. The day after it happened I was smiling again. But deep down I was wounded and it left a scar. I never truly got over it.

When I was 9 it started up again. Jacob had never been the same but he started to get worst. He started to become more and more secluded. Barely saying a word. It was unnerving how silent he would get. He would never tell us what was wrong.

When I was 12 he started keeping a notebook. Drawing in it all the time and he wouldn't show us what was inside. He would spend hours locked in his room drawing in that thing. We actually tried to take it away once or I did I guess. He proceeded to punch me breaking my jaw. While I was shocked he jumped on me raining blow after blow on my face. I ended up with a concussion. I didn't attempt to take his notebook after this. I avoided him after this.

He only got worse started getting sick, coughing up blood. It was like deja vu. One day while I was watching candle cove he said he was going out for a walk. I didn't say anything back because I actually feared him still. He never came back. The police searched for weeks didn't find any sign of him anywhere. I'm the one that found his notebook. I hid it under the floor boards of the house because I just thought something about it didn't feel right.

It still didn't end. The next time it was not a complex build up. There was no slender sickness, no fits of rage, no extreme paranoia, and no crazy demented drawings. It was my fifteenth birthday. While me and Seth were celebrating when he saw something out the window that seemed to make him mad. He told me to lock the doors and stay in my room. He ran towards the forest and never came back.

Like with Jacob there was no trace of him.

After all of this happened Nicks family adopted me. I moved to the city where they lived and tried to forget what had happened. You can repress.... But you never truly forget.

I'm sick of talking about this. Me and Laura are crashing in another house that's not ours. Something pretty funny actually happened today. I woke up to make breakfast for both of us and when I went to Oh god Laura just screamed gotta go

Family

I suppose I've put this off long enough. My childhood was not one of the best.... But I don't think the hospital is the first time I was in HIS presence. It was definitely the first time I had direct contact with him. But as I look back at my childhood some things never made sense to me. Now..... Now that I know about all of this it makes so much sense. It was in front me this whole time. It took me a while to put it all together because my childhood isn't something I like to think about too often.

It was at age six.... When my life started to fall apart. We were a more secluded family back then. I mean its not like we had any neighbors living in the middle of the woods. The nearest city was about 20 miles away. So me and my brothers were homeschooled. I was six when my mother was killed.

I was more observant then most 6 year olds. My dad's job took him to the city, just because we lived far away from any civilization didn't mean we didn't need money. He came back one night. He looked scared.... He was pale and very quiet. Not even mom could coax what was wrong out of him. He just kept saying he was fine and to mind our own damn business. We knew something was wrong, my father rarely ever swore.

As the months went on he only got worst. Started getting sick, coughing up blood. He would mumble to himself. Then it happened. It was the middle of the night when I heard my mother scream.... Her scream haunts me to this day. I was the first one in the room. My mother .... She.... Was gone. All that was left was her arm. My father sat huddled in the corner of the room in a puddle of blood that wasn't his. Cradling the arm mumbling to himself incoherently. When the police arrived they took my father into custody. They convicted him of murdering her. He kept insisting that he would never hurt his wife. That HE had took her. When they would ask what he meant by HE. He would elaborate by saying HIM. They asked for a description. He said it had been a tall faceless business man. That was the last nail in the coffin.

The police sentenced him to the electric chair. He was scheduled to die in one month. He broke out of prison half way through that month. No one knew how he did it. The security guards simply passed out. He showed up that same day at our front door. He was rambling about how was going to see mom and we could join them. How we could be a family again. That day he walked off into the woods alone. The police searched the forest for 3 days before they found him dead holding the dead corpse or what was left of it of my mother.

The police reasoned he had just offed himself because of the guilt from what he had done. I've hated my father ever since. There was never any doubt in my mind that my father murdered her. But now I see the the truth.

IT WAS HIM THAT DANM TENTACLE BASTARD HE DID IT HE BROKE APART FAMILY IT'S BEEN HIM RUINING MY LIFE THE VERY BEGINNING! IT'S ALWAYS BEEN HIM.... ALWAYS....always.....been..him.

Damn it now I'm crying.

This wasn't the end either. This was just the beginning ill post the rest later after I've calmed down.

I just can't think about this anymore.

The cold boy and other creepy ass children.

Really! What the hell. What do I do to attract these fears? I'm not a generally fearful person! Smiley I get, I got in the way of him retrieving his prey. But what about the damn cold boy?

Okay so we took a trip to the mall. It was going good(well for Laura.... She kept dragging me in girly stores). It felt nice..... Almost normal. There was one incident but I'm not sure it was fear related just really creepy. After a bunch of girly stores I finally refused to go in one. So she went in alone. I was waiting outside the store just sitting on a bench. I saw this girl walk by she couldn't have been a day over 19. Yet she had this little girl with her. This little girl was really creepy I mean something was just off about her. Her face just seemed wrong. The little girl turned and looked at me. I shivered.

Anyways after we were finished and Laura had a ridiculous amount of bags.... We loaded them up into the car and then I noticed the temperature rapidly dropping. Then I heard it...

"Mary Mary quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockleshells
And pretty maids all in a row."

It was a boy with skin that cracked as he moved. I instantly knew this was the cold boy. We jumped in the car and Laura started the car. She handed me a gun I don't remember her having. I reached out the window shooting at the cold boy. I've never been a good shot like Nick but we weren't to far away. I shattered the cold boys head with ease. We got away but not without my entire left arm being frozen. Even then I knew he was letting us get away. I'm typing this with my right hand only.

It's extremely annoying, damn cold boy.

I don't get it. What did I do to gather the attention of the cold boy? I'm also pretty sure that girl wasn't fear related but I could be wrong though. She was creepy as hell.

Oh and even though this wasn't the black dog or EAT, I still blame you Wolf.

What?

Couldn't fall asleep last night. I stayed up all last night watching this channel called tower TV. Pretty cool channel. Had one of my favorite shows as a child Candle Cove. Always watched this show when I was younger. There was also some goosebumps episodes I don't remember airing. They were pretty cool to.

When I got up to get a glass of water I noticed a letter from the cable company on the counter. It informed the family that there cable was being turned off. It was dated a week ago. So I walked back in to the living room and turned off the TV.

This is kinda disturbing. I'm probably not going to watch anymore TV.

Well Laura just yelled at me to get in the shower because she wouldn't be seen in public with someone who smelled like a hobo. Hmmm I should probably get a haircut while we're out.

Laura confuses me

So we sat down and talked about a few things. I told her why I had attempted to murder her. I told her that at any minute that I could snap and try to again. I told her I would understand if she didn't want to travel with me anymore.

After I told her this she gave me a look that said 'are you retarded'. She told me that of course she would stay with me. She said: "you surprised me today that's why you almost got me. Next time you let him take over ill knock you on your ass myself. Ill beat your ass until you snap out of it." That surprised me. She's always seemed so fragile. Oh she also said that she felt safer with the guy who "had the balls to head butt the slenderman" around. That made me chuckle.

We decided not to open the door in fear of ending up in the empty city. In fear! See what I did there? Hehe.

Anyways we found where the family keeps a portion of there money. About 1000 dollars. We're going to take it. I feel bad about it but were running low on funds. Laura also told me were going to the mall tomorrow. I didn't tell her no cause she kinda scares me now.

Let it be known that slender had no wrath that can compare to the wrath of an angry women.

Anyways goodnight everybody! Have wonderful non fear filled dreams.

Problems and the door

I almost killed her again. He just has so much influence. We were sparring in the back yard using wooden training swords. Turns out she's a better swordsman then I am.

But it seemed like his song amplified during combat. I blacked out during the fight and woke up on top of her hands around her neck. I stopped myself right before she suffocated. Me and her going to have a serious talk about the situation. Then I'll see if she still wants to travel with me. Because she's been avoiding me since.

In other news my search for a way to repress his influence has been fruitless so far. But I actually haven't had any run ins with smiley. So that's good or not I haven't decided yet.

Another disturbing thing that happened today. Not sure how to explain this. When Laura was in the basement looking for things we could use she found a door. It's just a large plain looking door. But I've been in that basement like 14 times and that door was not there before. So it just seemingly appeared there.

Haven't decided if we should open it or not. It gives me a bad feeling.

Dreams and plans

I woke up moments ago. I had to go to the bathroom. After I had finished I went to wash my hands. What I saw in the mirror.... It was me but I had on a mask. All white, the only noticeable feature were the eye holes. I noticed Slendy appear behind me his tentacles slowly surrounding me. I screamed. I then woke up. Laura must be a really deep sleeper.

So the song is causing me nightmares. He thinks he can break me? Is this the best this bastard can do? Well Slendy bring it on. Hit me with your best shot! God I don't even like Pat Bentar.

The plan for tomorrow is to gather info. I'm going to try and find a way to repress HIS influence.

According to the calendar on this fridge the family will be back in 4 days.

We'll be leaving in 2 days. His song isn't hurting me anymore it's... Comforting and alluring. Which worries me.

Hallucinations

I... I almost left Laura. Back at the house. I almost killed her. HIS song is making it hard to think. I'm starting to lose it. Thinking maybe it would be easier just to give in. I mean she's going die anyway right? Better me than smiley right? I wouldn't be alone anymore. I would have a family again. How wonderful it would be.

No.....no.....no. C'mon Roy get a grip. That's Slendy talking not you.

Okay....okay. So I grabbed a book bag I found in the house this morning and filled it with my weapons and some supplies. I convinced myself it was safer for her if I just left. I was confronted as I left. As I was walking away this is what happened.

N: do you really think this is the solution?

I didn't have to turn around to know it was Nick.

R: It's all I can do.

N: do you think leaving will make her life safe? Slendy isn't the only one who's after her, you know that.

R: smiley wont touch her, slender will make sure of that. He wants me to do it myself. He won't let anyone else do it.

N: maybe.... But how long will that last? Slendy will only keep you around till he's bored with you. Then what will happen to her?

R: Laura's strong. She can take care of herself.

N: You'll last longer together. How long do you think you'll last? You can barely focus. Ritter has more control over you than you think.

R: I'm in control! Not that bastard!

N: your fighting a losing battle! Your fighting for control and he's winning. You know you won't last much longer at this rate.

R: I will win! I'm.... I'm in control....

N: look at you your losing it! You know you are. You know that this isn't the solution. You know running wont solve anything.

R: it's for the be-

N: you keep telling yourself that! It's for the best! For who though? Don't lie to yourself. Your running away at the first sign of trouble because your scared! Is that all you know how to do run? Your all talk! What was it you said to wolf? "in the end I might only play the fool and ill die a fools death. But I won't be a coward." That's all you are! Your nothing but a coward. There's a little bit of trouble and you run away tail in between your legs!

R: stop....

N: your afraid it will happen again! You haven't moved on!

R: please....

N: you think that my death is your fault! That Izzy was your fault!

R: stop it!

N: you don't want to stick around because your scared it will happen again! That she'll be killed or taken and there won't be a damn thing you can do about it!

R: JUST STOP!

N: hurts doesn't it? The truth always does. The truth that your nothing but a damn coward.

R: what do I do then!?

N: if your scared she'll be killed then don't let it happen! Get stronger! To protect her and yourself! Running is never a permanent solution Roy. So stop running and start fighting. But it's your choice in the end. I can't make this choice for you. I'm not even real after all. Which will you take Roy?

R: what?

N: which will you take? Path of needles or path of pins?

Even in death Nick kicks my ass when I need it.

I turned around and there was of course no one there. His song is loud as ever. But I will try to fight it. For her sake. Ill stay for now. I didn't like that my hallucination was quoting wolf... It was kind of creepy.

Oh there was one other thing I found rather disturbing. When I got back to the front door there was another bouquet. It was comprised entirely of black roses. This can't be good.

God I need a vacation.